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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

It's Going to be 1st and last :|

Last saturday, im going to my dad house. ouh shit! i never tought i would step into that house 1 day. a day before, im crying because i don't wanna go there.only god knows what is my feeling towards him.
i hate him since i small. my mum always told me, "you can't hate him because he is ur father. what ever he do to us, he still your father. Dont hate him just because what he had do to me."
ouh god. she is very strong. how could she still can accept that old man in her life. mulianya hati mama. two days before, my dad called and asked me to go to his house. he asked mama to sent me there. WTF? he's the one who wanna meet me. why should mama have to send me there? ko nk jumpe, ko la datang amek aku.shit! that saturday evening, about 3 pm. i arrived to his house, then im not coming in. i still crying since last night because i refused to go to his house. i just think of mama. ayah would maki mama if im not coming. then i go. he called me, i did't answered. then, mama pujuk . "just go la syg, meet him for a while ok? call mama if u wana leave" i said ok. i saw him coming out, and looking at me with his Bengis face. he notice mama's car mayve. arh! wtf looking at me like that? u have to thank to mama coz asked me to come. i just meet him for about 2 hours. but i feel like 2 years. he non-stop talking to me. then, something unpredictable, he asked his maid to introduce me to all his neighbour. and tell them "this is aisyah, his daughter. her mother has took her run when she was a baby". Sial!! should you tell bou my mum like that? honestly. i hate him because of what he had done to mama. then, because of his unresponsible atitude. im becoming to 19years old, but he never give me any "nafkah" or even asked anything about me. he ignoring me like he never has a child.malang kott life aku. thanx to mama. eventough my father didn't care about me, i still have a very good life with mama. mama give me everything, same as other child who has a perfect parent's. i dont know what is the point. after 19 years, this is the first time he looking for me. the first time i meet him face to face. buang tabiat. im not prejudice to people. but, his atitude has shown, he can't be a good model to me. mybe he can in education but not other than that. im not regret having him as my father. but i am regret to everything that he done. im sorry for saying this dad. saturday- 3 pm will be our last meet. as your daughter, im sorry because i cant accept you as a part of my life.

p/s: thanx for the books you give. i will use it one day.

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